Why I Completely Suck at Being Patient.

If there is one thing that I am by far lacking in, it is patience.  It doesn’t matter if I’m in line at the grocery store, studying for a test, working, drumming, driving, reading, watching a movie, eating dinner, out to dinner, with a friend, building a friendship, I am impatient at it all.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am probably one of the most impatient people on the face of the planet.  My friends remind me all the time.

 

Recently, I’ve been going through some situations that have really put my patience to the test.  It’s no surprise that I failed miserably.  In fact I tend to always fail miserably when I’m relying on Tim Whitaker to get things done, especially when it comes to any kind of relationship.  I’ve been quickly realizing how my lack of patience is not a stand alone issue but tied to other issues in my heart.  I think it’s important for us to realize that many of our issues are not stand alone but linked with other issues.  For me, my lack of patience is really a lack of trust.  I have an incredibly hard time trusting that God’s timing and God’s way is much better than mine.  Because I don’t trust that his way isn’t best, when things don’t happen as fast as I want, I automatically begin to scheme (yes scheme) in my head as to how I can fast forward the process and get my way.  This almost always (ok ALWAYS) fails.  I end up crashing and burning, having anxiety, and worrying like crazy about the particular situation I’m in.

 

A couple of days ago I was sitting outside with Jesus, talking and just hanging out with Him.  He asked me this question.  He asked, “Do you trust me to write a better story for your life then you can?” talk about a loaded question.  That got me thinking, and I started comparing the times I took over the drivers seat in my life compared to when I gave it to God and let Him drive.  It wasn’t even a close call, it was clear that the times I rested in the presence of God and let Him worry about a particular situation I was more at peace, I didn’t have a knot in my stomach, and my mind was cleared and I was able to focus on tasks I had to accomplish that day.   I want to add here that what I’m not saying is that every time I let God take control and gave a situation over to Him it ended the way I was hoping, but over time I began to see why it didn’t work out the way I had hoped and was incredibly grateful for Him not allowing me to get my way .

 

See for me to be patient, I can’t be in the drivers seat.  Because I drive my life recklessly.  I want my way, right now, at all times, and if I don’t get my way, right now, at all times, I’ll do anything it takes to get my way, right now, at all times.  It’s only when I REST (we will cover that another day) that I’m patient, and calm, and honestly I’m content.  Knowing that I’m in the presence of God, and that He has my best in mind is the best place I can be in.  The reason that’s the best place I can be in is because that’s when I am living in wholeness, the way I was created to be from the start.  When I am living, breathing, walking, resting with my Creator, then He shows me how to live minute by minute.  When I follow the way He shows me to live it works perfectly because He is the author of my life.  If He wrote my story in to existence then following Him is the best possible way to live because He designed me and knows exactly what I need.

 
This of course is a work in progress and won’t be made 100% until Jesus comes back and makes all things new. But because of what Christ did on the cross and the work of the Holy Spirit we can start to live fully now.  It amazes me how often I choose not to live with God and instead choose to take over my life.  I literally crash every time I take over.  It’s only when I’m resting in Jesus that I’m truly patient because that is where I was created to be in the first place.

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