Hey everyone, Tim Whitaker here. In light of the popularity of my other post titled “Sex, Everything We’ve Done to Destroy it”, I’ve decided to ask a woman to post her view on the same subject. From here, I will eventually put up a post about masculinity, and then one written from another female about femininity. Enjoy!
A female perspective
In light of Tim’s recent post on “Sex, everything we’ve done to destroy it”, I was asked to give a female perspective on this subject. I will warn you, as Tim did, but the subject matter in this post will not necessarily be suitable for anyone who either does not want to divulge into this topic of discussion or anyone that may be uncomfortable in talking about sex, pornography, and the sex industry.
Porn. We all know about it. To live in today’s society [American] and to not know and even have seen pornography in any capacity is probably just as rare an eclipse. Very. Our culture today is designed around image and stimulation through imagery. With that comes perversion. With that comes the sex industry and pornography and strip clubs and so on. Look at any magazine, watch television for even a maximum of 5 minutes and you will be exposed to even the slightest bit of imagery attempting to stimulate the mind sexually. The Superbowl was this past Sunday. Of course, everyone looks forward to the commercials almost as much as the game itself. But this year I realized something that really bothered. Our culture is so driven by sexual stimulation that even selling Teleflora flowers for Valentine’s Day has to be try to be turn on with the tagline “Give and you shall receive”. Or David Beckam’s commercial for I believe it was underwear… the camera shooting every angle of his body. Or the few different “Go Daddy” commercials that showed almost every part of the model’s body. There were many more commercials, most of which had some sexual element to it. If you live in America, you cannot escape this or worse, ignore it and pretend that this does not affect you.
As Tim wrote in his post, I have to agree with the FACT that churches do not discuss with honesty and communication that our culture has taken the very sexuality that God has gifted each of us with and instead perverted making it a mockery of his beauty. Pornography, the entirety of the sex industry, magazines like Cosmo, shows like Sex and the City, and retail like clothing lines that, in fact, barely advertise the clothes they are trying to sell. Wake up Christians- the Church- and realize that this does affect us and our congregations. This rising tolerance and ignorance to this sexually saturated culture is not good.
I am currently writing my thesis paper for my Master’s Degree on this very subject. I believe with a single doubt or hesitation in my mind that the Church does not and has not discussed this subject of sexuality, porn, etc. much at all. For the most part, churches will discuss the need to remain abstinent, talking like sex itself is a bad thing and “dirty”, or far worse, not discussing it all. When couples get married, regardless of their sexual behaviors [or lack thereof] prior to marriage, they then embark on the sexuality the way God intended, however it still can find its way to be perverted.
So here is my advice- paired with knowledge I have gained through two years of research- to Christians, non-Christians, whoever will read this: understand your sexuality, regardless of age, understand that our world is sexually saturated, but also understand that there is way more to it than our culture and even churches have said. I have already mentioned the media influences of sexual imagery, even if not deemed pornography, and I will most likely be writing something on that subject later. Pornography, however, is one of the silent things that most people do not want to discuss. People feel dirty, shamed, embarrassed, or whatever else you could feel. You will find those people that partake in porn [on any level] that feel empowered, stimulated, or frankly enjoy the lust that is fueled. But let me tell you something. First off a little less than half of all pornography produced in this world is with KNOWN victims of human trafficking. So guess what… if you liked indulging in porn viewings- the more frequent too- you more than likely have viewed women, men, and even children that were forced by coercion or threat of death to perform those acts that you found pleasing. And any money spent on porn will most likely fuel some level of trafficking. Food for thought. Anyway, on top of that, the simple logistics of porn and the sex industry should disgust you. Should… Women and men are degraded to performing acts that frankly aren’t natural. They are actors many of the time that have sex or perform sexual acts that most people won’t end up doing. They aren’t a good reflection of relationship and intimacy. Just lust. Nothing more than lust. More than all of this, pornography and the sex industry dehumanizes. It makes the women, men, and yes children, less than human, objects of desire and a commodity. They are no longer seen a person, someone with feelings, and above all else, a person created in the Image of God. I pose this to you Christians reading this- the very people you might watch in porn were created by God just like you only you’re dehumanizing them regardless if their being in that business was their choice.
Pornography, whether we like it or not, is a part of our lives. It has infiltrated almost every aspect of our culture. Music, movies, television, and of course authentic porn whether on the web or in magazines like Playboy. Again, you may think this doesn’t affect. Let me remind you that if you watched the Superbowl and saw the commercials, soft pornographic imagery, even if not nudity, was seen. If you have seen almost any blockbuster hit movie in the past 10 years you have seen major elements of sexuality. Listen to any popular artist today in the mainstream, and you’ve heard sexually based lyrics. Roughly, 75% of all males currently or recently looked at pornography via the Internet. But wait there is more! Almost 60% of all women have done the same! So ladies guess what….PORN IS NOT A MALE ISSUE ANYMORE!!!
I know this was a very long post but I’m not really sorry about that. As said above, this subject needs to be discussed. It needs to be talked about especially among Christians and the Church. If we believe we are created in God’s image, if we believe he loves us and calls us to honor him and our bodies, than we must discuss sexuality. It is unavoidable. Sex should not [ever] be defined by culture but that is the world we live in. Parents talk to you kids with honesty about sex and stop leaving it to the school districts, internet or tv. Pastors, educate your congregates on God’s identity in us sexually. Talk to your churches about how sex is a good thing- a great thing- designed to have the highest level of intimacy. If you have struggled with porn [or sexual behaviors of any kind], I challenge you to not divulge into pornography as it will destroy you and how you view others. And here is my last words to those that struggle with porn and sexual issues. God loves you deeply. He really does but wants you to honor Him with your body. You’re worth it. Regardless what this world says and does to justify their sexual actions, you’re more than that. His love can remove the shame, guilt, or whatever else you feel regarding this.
Anyway, thanks for letting me post on here. I hope it helped and wasn’t too long. For knowing my sources of information, well you’ll just have to read my thesis “Naked and Bare” later this year.