The past few months have been a difficult month spiritually for me. Things have been different than they used to. It’s almost like God purposely distanced himself from me these past few months. I had a hard time hearing from God. I wasn’t a “passionate” as I was a year ago. Things were just different. I’ve been trying to put a finger on it. Maybe it was more Bible reading, so I tried that. Nothing changed. So I figured it was more worship time. Nothing. I figured I just needed to get more involved in my church. Nothing. I tried and tried and tried to do all these things, thinking “why the heck isn’t this working!”. And then it hit me. It hit me that Jesus didn’t want me to read my Bible more, worship more, or do more things. He wanted me just to BE in his presence, He wanted me to exist with Him and to experience Him by doing absolutely nothing. I forgot that God didn’t create me just to do something. He created me because he ENJOYS being with his creation. How the freaking heck have I missed this?!
Let me put it this way. God created humanity first because He wanted to. He didn’t create us because there is something He needs done that He can’t do. God, is absolutely 100% not dependent on us. He doesn’t need anything to exist. He doesn’t need oxygen, food, people, plants, animals, sleep. Yahweh (referring to God the father) does not need these things. So God didn’t create us just to accomplish something. He created us first because He wanted to create us. He wants to be with us. He wants to enjoy our company. This idea makes complete sense especially in the case of Jesus. Why would a God go through all of this trouble, literally killing himself (paradox) as a sacrifice so we can be reconciled to Him if He didn’t want to just BE with us? Why would He do that? It makes no logical sense. Instead what makes logical sense is that God should of destroyed the earth and us. If God created us for the sake of us, then why would he even bother to interfere with humanity? Instead we see the opposite in the Scriptures. We see God communicating, guiding, teaching, and ultimately reconciling humanity to Himself because He LOVES being with us.
The Bible, musical worship, teaching, are all good things. But they are NOT Jesus. They are only things we use to understand, encounter, and learn about who God is, they are not God. God is not them. The Bible, is NOT God. I’m not saying the Bible is not God inspired, I’m not saying the Scriptures are not Holy, what I am saying is that if God tells you one day not to read your Bible and to instead go to the beach with Him (God), and instead you read your Bible and do not go to the beach, that is sin. You might panic and say “What! There is no way reading your Bible is a sin!” and what I say is “If God tells you not to do something, even if we think it is more spiritual then something else, and you don’t listen to what God is telling you, that is sin”. So often we think that we need to do all these things that we deem “super spiritual” in order to communicate with God. And we forget that the only way we can be in community and communication with God is Jesus. It has nothing to do with our works. It has everything to do with Jesus. If you are reading your Bible, or listening to worship music every day, all the time, take a break! Take a day and just TALK to God, talk to him about…politics! Talk to him about what coffee you like, ask Him what He thinks of people, or what He thinks about life. God first and foremost desires us as a human being. NOT us as a human doing.
I was blessed this weekend to be part of 24 hours of prayer and worship. I spent the first few hours telling God how much I missed Him, and He responded by saying “just be in my presence tonight”, “don’t read, don’t ask for forgiveness tonight, just exist with me, enjoy being in my presence”. What a night it was. Before I knew it the clock read 4 A.M and I was so refreshed. Refreshed not because I read 12 chapters, not because the music was super emotional, not because of anything except Jesus and His presence.
We can’t forget this church, that Jesus desires us. JUST us. He desires us to be with Him, to be talking to Him all throughout our day, to be communicating with Him all the time. As humans we are the only created thing that is part spiritual and part physical. We are literally the bridge between the two realms. We are literally being used to usher in the Kingdom of God down here to this physical earth. That is also for another time 🙂